The Depth of my Depravity

The problem with having young children is you just can’t devour a chocolate bar without being noticed.

The other day, I gave my kids a healthy after school snack of apples and wheat germ. Then I planted them in front of an educational television program and scurried back to the kitchen, whereupon I opened the pantry and proceeded to stare inside.

I noticed a chocolate bar.

I took that chocolate bar and began to unwrap it with the stealth of a sniper. I even paused my breathing. The first velvet bite was mere inches away from my mouth when two small humans, about yea big, materialized behind me.

“WHAT ARE YOU EATING MAMA?”

Lickety-split, I tucked that chocolate bar into the elastic waistband of my yoga pants.

“Oh, just some raw almonds. Would you like one?”

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23 thoughts on “The Depth of my Depravity

  1. Managed Chaos

    I may, or may not, have been known to hide entire boxes of Girl Scout cookies from my children so I could eat them. You’re not alone in your depravity :)

  2. alejna

    You crack me up, Rima!

    I’ll never forget coming across (empty!) chocolate bar wrappers in my mother’s coat pocket. (We were travelling, and she let me and my sister use her coat as a bathrobe. She clearly did not think to hide the evidence of her depravity.)

    And now I have this craving for …”raw almonds.” Must figure out a means to distract the children.

  3. Kat

    Heh heh heh. Yeah, we’ve all been there. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that. You know what’s even worse? Hiding the healthy food on your kids. When I was pregnant with Grace my biggest craving was strawberries, but my boys would always devoure them before I got any. I’d hide them way in the back of the fridge and eat them in secret. When they found me eating them I’d tell them I was eating the rotten ones. I’m such a liar. So bad. ;)

  4. Marta

    Lol I love this.

    Yesterday I asked Ben to get me a Popsicle and he looks at me quizzically, “does your stomach ache?” I nod that in fact it does recalling at some point when I said Popsicle were for bellyaches, that I did not remotely have at that current moment. =

  5. Becca

    Ha! Man have I ever done that. I once posed the question on Facebook “Is it problem eating if you’re hiding in the pantry so you don’t have to share with your kids?” I still think the answer is no.

  6. sarah piazza

    The other night, my 10-year-old asked, “How come we have to have a banana or cheese if we’re hungry at night, but you and Daddy can have whatever you want?”

    Urp.

  7. Nancy Y. Protacio

    This is very interesting blog and for sure, we will be happy to read it. Thanks that you shared. I love this link up.. Good thing you post such valuable information like this.
    So thanks for hosting!

  8. Eleanor H. Walton

    Thank you for your amazing blog,This is very interesting topic..I hope you can update your blog and for sure, we will be happy to read it. Thanks that you shared.I love this link up;

  9. Michael D. Sera

    This is very interesting blog and for sure, we will be happy to read it. Thanks that you shared. I love this link up… Good thing you post such valuable information like this.
    So thanks for hosting!

  10. Paula Abaredeen

    I totally know that feeling.
    But I’m glad that there are so many of us here who have the same feeling.

    -Paula

  11. Antoinette

    I thought I was the only one who had this experience with my children. But this is truly quite interesting. What did you feel after that? Anyway, thanks for sharing this issue Rima!

  12. vodkamom

    Oh you just WAIT. Now I’m saying, “No, I am NOT drinking the GOOD vodka. It’s TERRIBLE vodka…..”

    jesus.

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