Nobody Puts Rima at the Kids’ Table

You won’t find me knocking around frozen turkeys by the Butterball display this year. That’s because we’re ordering from our CSA, so there’s a turkey with my name on it still pecking around somewhere in the southern Ohio dirt.

I got to worrying about that turkey. Not about its impending death, but rather, “Did I order a big enough bird?” I asked the P-Dawg if he was sure we’d have enough turkey meat for each person at the table, he said yes.

According to my husband’s calculations, here is how the turkey rations break down:

Adults – 2 pounds each

Kids – 1/2 pound each

Rima – 1 pound of turkey

I have my own special category. “Kid and a Half.”

Well, I immediately turned around and posted this all over Facebook. I was hoping for some righteous indignation in the comments, but what I got instead was a lot of “Bwahahaha LOL that’s hilarious!” instead.

I guess I know now who my friends are.

When I told the P-Dawg that I had aired my grievance, he took offense.

“That’s not entirely accurate,” he answered, “I never said you weren’t an adult.”

“It’s not that I really want it, P-Dawg,” I explained to my husband. “It’s just that I’d like to be given the opportunity, if I so desired, to eat two pounds of turkey meat.”

“I guarantee you won’t leave hungry.”

“Well. I’m not sitting at the kids’ table, I’ll tell you that much.”

What’s more, I’m making it my own personal mission to eat 2 pounds of turkey, at the very least.

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12 thoughts on “Nobody Puts Rima at the Kids’ Table

  1. Bill

    unless, of course, the “and a half” referred to half a pound. Semantics, really.

    This is great. It’s ALWAYS a source of contention come turkey-day, speculating that there won’t be enough turkey. Until…we get halfway through dinner and explode.

  2. Amanda Meszaros

    Did you tell him about the great “baby quiche” incident in Saugatuck? Maybe if he knew he would be more sensitive. . .

  3. Linda Mcmahon

    I guess you made possible that everyone on your family had a share of your delicious turkey. How sweet it is.

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