Just Another Sunday at Holy Mass with Kids

“Turn around, please.”

“No.”

“Stop that.”

“And also with you.”

“Get off the floor, what are you doing?”

“No.”

“Please turn around.”

“Turn around.”

“Turn around.”

“Turn around.”

“Amen.”

“Get off that pole. Are you kidding me?”

“Please stand up.”

“No, I’m praying.”

“Stop gnawing on the pew. Jeez!”

“Please sit down.”

“Lord, have mercy.”

“Turn around.”

“Christ, have mercy.”

“Turn around.”

“Lord, have mercy.”

“Take that money out of your mouth. I never, ever want to see you putting a dollar in your mouth again. Do you understand?”

“Please don’t flip your skirt over your head, people can see your underwear.”

“There’s nothing in my purse.”

“No.”

“That’s not candy, please put it away.”

“No.”

“Lord, hear our prayer.”

“Just two more songs.”

“Yes, just two more songs.”

“Stop kicking the pew.”

“Okay, three more songs.”

“Come back here.”

“No, not yet.”

“Stand up.”

“Sit down.”

“Turn around.”

“Last song!”

“Thanks be to God.”

 

Although this is actually what it sounded like in Lithuanian . . .

“Prašau apsisuk.”

“Ne.”

“Nedaryk.”

“Ir su Tavimi.”

“Nesivoliok. K? tu darai?”

“Ne.”

“Prašau apsisuk.”

“Apsisuk.”

“Apsisuk.”

“Apsisuk.”

“Amen.”

“Nelipk ant stulpo, ar tu juokauji?”

“Prašau atsistok.”

“Ne, aš meldžiuos.”

“Negraužk suolo, Jeez!”

“Prašau atsis?sk.”

“Viešpatie, pasigail?k.”

“Apsisuk.”

“Kristau, pasigail?k.”

“Apsisuk.”

“Viešpatie, pasigail?k.”

“Išimk t? pinig? iš burnos! Aš geriau NIEKAD v?l nematy?iau taves dedant pinig? ? burn?, ar tu supranti?”

“Nedaryk taip, žmon?s matys tavo underwear.”

“Nieko n?ra mano rankinuke.”

“Ne.”

“Tai ne saldainis, prašau pad?k.”

“Ne.”

“Meldžiam Tave, Viešpatie.”

“Tik dar dvi giesm?s.”

“Tik dvi.”

“Nespirk suolo.”

“Okay, trys giesm?s.”

“Ateik ?ia.”

“Dar ne.”

“Atsistok.”

“Atsis?sk.”

“Apsisuk.”

“Paskutin? giesm?!”

“D?kojame tau, Viešpatie.”

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9 thoughts on “Just Another Sunday at Holy Mass with Kids

  1. Jennifer

    Sounds a lot like my experience in church yesterday. Really wish I knew another language. Especially one no one else understands.

  2. Becca

    OMG it’s like you were sitting with us on Sunday!!! I also think it would be way more fun to yell at them in another language. You are so cool!

  3. Polish Mama on the Prairie

    lol This sounds like us in church as well! But add in my husband’s voice quietly telling me to control the kids and that I’m being loud when I’m hushing them and why can’t I control the kids and stop shushing and why can’t I control the kids? But this is what I hear from him actually “I’m suicidal and would like to know where your breaking point is, sweetie?”

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