I Should Have Bought a Lottery Ticket

During the few minutes when I worked as an auto insurance claims adjustor, my mentor, Jimmy, mentioned that most accidents happen close to home. Tall, thin and, balding, Jimmy was a company man through and through. His father was a hugely successful policy salesman, and it was Jimmy’s fervent hope that one day, if he played his cards right, he’d follow in the old man’s shoes.

As far as I could tell, Jimmy didn’t do much work. He spent a lot of time leaning back in his office chair and exploring his gum line with a toothpick. Once, during one of our “training sessions,” he excused himself to use the facilities and didn’t come back for an hour and thirty minutes.

“You’d be surprised how many accidents happen in the driveway,” Jimmy instructed me. “Most of the time, it’s the wife backs into the husband,” he drawled, and I took offense.

Not the whole fence, though, because I’d borne witness to this type of situation on a few occasions myself. In fact, just days before accepting the wretched insurance claims position, I’d ripped off the front of my grandfather’s garage while backing out of it. Even though I didn’t much like Jimmy, I never forgot what he said. I vowed never to be the wife who hit her husband’s car in the driveway, and I made good on this promise for over fifteen years.

It happened this afternoon. I was backing out of the garage on a perfectly straight trajectory when the P-Dawg’s car appeared out of nowhere and hit my car’s rear end. Apparently, it had been lying in wait for me all night. The damage was minimal and the P-Dawg was very gracious about it. He’s busted his car up a few times already, so we called it even and I went on my merry way to pick up milk and bread.

That’s where the second car accident happened. I was halfway out of my parking spot at Drug Mart when some dude backed out of his spot and our bumpers kissed. I mean, what are the odds of that happening? I should have bought a lottery ticket.

I can’t stop thinking about the deeper meaning in all of it. The universe is trying to tell me something. But what is it?

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4 thoughts on “I Should Have Bought a Lottery Ticket

  1. DDS-dede dentist smiling

    Nothing wrong with “exploring your gumline with a toothpick”…….sounds like a smart guy to me……

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