Recently, I realized that the P-Dawg and I hadn’t been on a date in a long time. The problem was that between the two of us, I was the only one who’d realized it.
I began turning it over in my mind. Some might say, “perseverating.” I really wanted to go on a date! Sure, I could have just asked him. But that would have defeated the whole purpose, which was for my husband to naturally arrive at the realization that what he wants, more than anything in the world, is to wine and dine his smart, beautiful, and not quite thirty-nine year old wife.
Reluctantly, I activated the handy, but not always reliable first tier persuasion mechanism: mind control. Whenever the two of us were together, I would close my eyes, furrow my brow, and direct pointed thoughts about going on a date toward my husband.
“Why are you making that face?” he asked me. “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”
Next, I dropped strategic hints, such as naming some couples I knew of who had gone on a date. “I heard it can be fun,” I told him.
Finally, there was no choice but to broach the subject directly.
Husband: “What’s wrong?”
Husband: “Are you sure?”
Me: “I guess.”
Me: “Forget it.”
Husband: “No, what?”
Me: “It’s just that . . . oh, nevermind!”
Me (sulking): “Okay.”
(Time passes. Husband pays some bills, organizes his fishing gear, and putzes around on computer.)
Me: “It’s like you forgot we were even having a conversation.”
Husband: “I thought our conversation was over.”
Me: “That just goes to show you how out of synch our energy is. I don’t even remember the last time we went out together.”
Husband: “You know, you’re right. We should go on a date! Why didn’t you mention it earlier?”
Me: “I don’t see how I could have made myself any clearer.”
Sometimes, you just have to spell it out for them.
(By the way, we went on a date and it was really fun, just as I heard it could be from some couples! Also, I feel I must tell you that the P-Dawg is actually a fantastic husband. In fact, I really think he got the short end of the stick when he married me. There is really nothing for me to complain about in our relationship, except the fact that after almost twelve years of marriage, he has not yet mastered the subtle art of mind reading.)
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