My four-year-old’s sources of protein have traditionally been milk, cheese, hot dogs, peanut butter, and chicken. There was one time in 2009 when I tricked him into eating a hamburger, but that window slammed shut as soon as it had opened. The P-Dawg and I lovingly joke (but not in a “ha ha” way) about Jonas’ List of Palatable Foods, which tend to be beige and come out of a box. He calls them “Kid Foods.”
Jonas does not get “kid food” every day, and on those occasions when he is forced to consume what the rest of the family is eating, there is much gnashing of teeth and renting of garments. ‘Cause I ain’t gone be fixin’ that fool child no individual dinners.**
Well, except yesterday, when I took pity and prepared him some grain fed nuggets.
And HE said:
“Mama, I no want deez chickkin nuggits. I takin’ dem offa da list.”
“What? You’re taking chickkin nuggits off the list? WHY?” I whined, because this left us with little more than waffles, ice cream, and mac-n-cheese.
“I’m scared of dem.”
“You’re scared of chicken nuggets???” I was incredulous. “Why?” I asked, resisting the temptation to flap my arms wildly and make clucking noises.
“Because!” the V-meister chimed in with unrestrained excitement, “IT’S LIKE EATING A DEAD ANIMAL!”
The P-Dawg paused with his drumstick in mid-air while I picked some meat out of my teeth. How could we argue with that kind of logic?
“No it’s not.” I said.
“Right, not really,” offered the P-Dawg. “Anymore.”
“I love my chicken, you got to love your chicken” I suggested.
“No!” said Jonas. “I take it offa da list!”
Now I have a miniature vegematarian on my hands.
He’s smarter than I was at four years old, I’ll give him that.
* With apologies to the chicken song guy on YouTube.
**Can you tell I’m reading “The Help”?
Did you like this? Subscribe to the blog
. (It's free!)