Category Archives: OCD tendencies

Did You Make Your Bed This Morning?

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who make their bed and those who don’t.

I make my bed every morning. After Phase One (the smoothing of the sheets and blanket) is complete, I move on to Phase Two, which involves circling the bed several times to make sure everything lines up correctly. The third and final phase is the plumping and centering of throw pillows, and often requires that I step back several feet into my own closet to achieve the optimal perspective before the bed can be called “made.” Though elaborate, the process is fail-proof and only takes twenty to thirty minutes.

The P-Dawg is not a bed maker. It wasn’t a requirement in his house growing up and get this – he didn’t even know what a flat sheet was until he married me.

“What are you saying, that you slept between the fitted sheet and the comforter like some kind of barbarian?” I asked him.

“Yes,” he said.

Recently I mentioned that I think it’s high time the kids started making their own beds every morning. It’s necessary, I believe, to instill  a sense of order and responsibility and, more importantly, for me to get an extra ten minutes of aimless web surfing time per day.

“I think that’s a bad idea” the P-Dawg immediately replied.

“What?” I was aghast. “Why?”

“I don’t want them to end up like you.”

It’s true that the bed making has caused me undue stress at times, such as in emergency situations when I’ve had to leave the house in the morning before the chore is complete. I have, on occasion, come home late and found myself making my bed at eleven PM so I could go to sleep in it. But what difference does this make, as long as I appear normal to the naked eye when I’m out in public?

And so the P-Dawg and I remain at an impasse. I maintain that the state of a bed in its natural habitat is “made,” and he insists that a bed’s default state is “disheveled.” I think that bed making is an exercise in discipline which also helps clear the mind and prepare mentally for a new day, while the P-Dawg believes that the practice can only lead to a life of neuroses and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. (By the way, he believes that children should have responsibilities around the house, he just doesn’t think making their beds should be one of them.)

What say you? Did you have to make your bed as a kid? And if so, has it made you a compulsive freak?

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Happiness is Running a Vacuum Cleaner

I’m always a little caught off guard by Christmas when it comes, but not this year. This year I have it marked on my calender and there are a lot of context clues to help me out. Like, for example, on Saturday the P-Dawg and I hosted a legitimate Christmas party where a lot of people came all dressed up.  It was very exciting because I had a good excuse to go to town decorating the house and spend the week prior cleaning, and the P-Dawg had a good excuse to set out his bottle of Absinthe.

I like to clean things and put them away. One of my favorite sounds in the world is the sound of crumbs and small plastic toy parts getting sucked up into my vacuum cleaner.  In fact, one of the hardest things for me about hosting a party is resisting the compulsion to follow my guests around with my Dyson, which never loses suction. So I’ll admit that some people’s appetizers might have been cleared a little prematurely last Saturday night, but that’s the price you pay when you put your plate down for five seconds chez Rama. All in all, though, I think everyone had a good time.

Another major clue is the fast approaching Lithuanian Saturday school Christmas pageant, during which my friend V and I will be reprising our roles as the emcees, elf Dzingu-Lingu and elf Žvang-Žvang. Our act was such a hit last year that we are Lithuanian Saturday school Christmas pageant legends. Probably everybody wants our autographs, but is too shy to ask and don’t even get me started on why CNN Europe or Lithuanian Dawn has offerred to interview us yet.

V and I are feeling enormous self-imposed pressure to make this year’s pageant even better than the last. And since me descending from the ceiling suspended on an invisible cable in a pair of red tights and elf tunic is out of the question, we struggled a bit at first to come up with something equally creative. I’m dying to tell you our brilliant plan, but it will have to wait because I don’t want to spoil it for the Lithuanians who read my blog. (Special note to Lithuanians: Please don’t get too excited.) So just keep your fingers crossed that we come up with a script by Saturday morning and don’t choke on our lines.

Between decorating and vacuuming and practicing my elf moves and a side of sitting around in my pajamas putting random things in my Amazon shopping cart only to abandon them three hours later, I haven’t been able to focus on writing Posts with a Purpose.. But I miss blogging with regularity even though I’m not sure anyone is even reading this thing anymore. Is anyone reading this thing anymore?

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Local Woman Caught Sleeping With iPhone

A Cleveland woman was caught by her husband Tuesday morning sleeping with her iPhone. “I went to kiss her goodbye before leaving for work and noticed an object sticking out from underneath her pillow” Dr. P-Dawg stated. “It was her iPhone.”

When confronted, the woman, Rima Rama, 36, admitted she had fallen asleep waiting for new Facebook updates.

“My friends never update their status anymore. I refresh, like, every five minutes and I’m lucky to get some kind of lame YouTube link or Farmville update” a frustrated Mrs. Rama said. “But I have to keep checking, because the alternative is being alone with my thoughts.”

Dr. P-Dawg has advised his wife on numerous occasions to go offline at least an hour before bedtime to help avoid insomnia. “Here is a woman who depends on her white noise machine and Tylenol PM to fall asleep every night, yet she is up until the wee hours of the morning checking her Twitter stream with eyes bugged out in opposite directions.”

“I don’t want to miss any Shit My Dad Says,” Mrs. Rama confided. “Plus, my internet friends are like real people to me. I depend on them to tell me what I should think, feel, and buy.”

Dr. P-Dawg, who recently joined Twitter in a list ditch effort to communicate with his wife, stated that he’s had it up to here with this crap. He reportedly put the iPhone on top of the refrigerator where the diminutive Mrs. Rama could not reach it, but she quickly retrieved it by standing on a chair. “I’m addicted, not stupid,” she said.

An intervention is planned for sometime next week.

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