A Moment of Epiphany in the Yogurt Aisle

I had it all planned out.

Once inside the supermarket, if I were to encounter the lady who’d sworn at and almost hit me in the parking lot, I was going to block her path with my cart. I was going to pretend I didn’t see her reaching for the bananas and use my son as a human shield. When faced with her inevitable wrath, I was going to say ever so pleasantly:

“Oh, I’m sorry, hon! Am I blocking your path?”

It was going to be unspeakably satisfying, and carry low retaliation odds. Even if the angry motorist yelled at me or tried to take me down in the snack food aisle, I’d come out looking almost martyr-like.

Turns out I did see her.

In the dairy aisle.

She was picking out yogurts with her adult son.

Just a weary old pissed off lady in a misshapen t T-shirt.

I decided I didn’t need any yogurt and kept walking on.

Let’s call it emotional maturity instead of cowardice.


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6 thoughts on “A Moment of Epiphany in the Yogurt Aisle

  1. Bill

    This was awesome. I definitely have been known to be the “emotionally mature” one in a number of instances. Usually with guys who are much bigger than me.

  2. Kat

    I had an instance of road rage and immature driving and it turned out the person lived across the street from me. I hope she was properly mortified by her behavior. I hope the lady in the ratty tshirt was too. ;)

    I am always so much braver (and funnier, and smarter, etc) in my head than I am in real life. ;)

  3. Marta

    Namaste indeed, good job on being the better/bigger person. I wouldn’t have done either, but more for cowardice than maturity!

  4. Katherine

    You did GOOD. Be proud of yourself. I like to fantasize about how I will get back at people,but never do. I DO think things like, “They are probably miserable unhappy people and I should feel sorry for them instead of being angry…” or I think that maybe something horrible is happening in their lives and i need to give them a break. Hey now that I read all that, I sound kind of depressing! Next time I might go for the yogurt LOL!

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