I’ve always been one of those mothers you see running after her kid brandishing a wet wipe. But last week, at Lithuanian camp, I perfected the art of embarrassing my children.
You see, every year at camp (also sometimes during the Saturday school Christmas pageant and at the occasional cocktail party) my friend V and I do a little schtick. The schtick changes depending on the venue, but it’s always built around our stock characters – her John Cleese to my Hugh Laurie.
This year, one of our evening programs at camp was a full-out Lithuanian folk dance-off and my friend V and I were the emcees. She played a militant Lithuanian folk dancer, hell-bent on discipline and perfection, and I was her tree hugging, interpretive dancing, ancient pagan goddess worshiping comic foil. V was all business in full folk regalia, while I wore a flowing white dress and a wreath the size of a car tire. I had a butterfly on my bosom and some oak leaves tucked into my flip-flops.
Whenever I do a summer camp skit, I think deeply about my character. What are her interests? What is her history? What is it that makes her tick? Playing a spaced out hippie required that I sing off-key, walk around in a stupor, and intermittently flap my imaginary butterfly wings.
At one point during the act, my character heard the ancient Lithuanian earth goddess, Žemyna, calling to her. I stretched out on the asphalt, which was serving as our stage, to receive her message. And just as I was putting my ear to the ground, I caught a glimpse of my daughter sitting three feet away from me, surrounded by a little posse of her camp friends.
She was not amused.
But it was going to take more than the cold shoulder of a third-grader to get me out of character. I forged onward with the skit, doing a little interpretive dancing here, a little flapping of my imaginary wings there.
Then I looked over and saw my son.
He wouldn’t even look at me.
I knew then, that neither of my children would be talking to me for a couple of days, at least.
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I would be proud to be in your family. Kids. What are you gonna do?
Becca´s last [type] ..Thick as Theives
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Love this and isn’t it great to give your kids something to vent about to their therapist in later years?
Brilliant! That’s why Isadora Duncan never had kids….
You were very funny! Very very funny
!
I would be beyond mortified if my mother did that to me while simultaneously if given the opportunity I would love to perform a skit even if it would mortify my children. =)
Marta´s last [type] ..At The Edge.
So that’s what a mom has to do to get a little peace and quiet? I’m trying it tomorrow.
By the way, I think it is part of a parent’s job to embarrass her kids once in a while. Well done.
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I love you more now than EVER before.
ha
ha
i, for one, adore you.
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My children are only just getting to be old enough to be embarrassed by me. I’m sure we will have many opportunities for embarrassment in the future. You have set the bar high! And I adore you for it, too.
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OK, we absolutely need to hang out one day! Over coffee? You’ll know it’s me by the oak leaves in my Birks.
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So cute seeing your kids. They are so cute.
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