“Mama,” my four-year-old son said to me recently as I repeated his English words back to him in Lithuanian, “In da U.S.A., you speak U.S.A. You no speak da Li-too-way-nee-yun.”
Never mind the fact that he made it with an Eastern European accent, he did have a point.
“Well, that’s absolutely true,” I answered him. “In the U.S.A., we do speak English, and that is very, very important. But we are lucky that in the U.S.A., we are free to speak other languages, as well. I want you to speak Lithuanian with me when we are at home so you don’t forget it. If you forget it, I think one day you’ll be sad.”
“Ne! Man nebus liūdna,” he answered me in Lithuanian, “Cuz in da U.S.A., you speak da U.S.A.”
I admit that in the past few months, I’ve been slacking off in the language enforcement department. It takes so much energy to constantly go against the grain, and sometimes it seems so futile. No, it seems insane. So even though I continue to speak with Jonas and V-meister exclusively in Lithuanian, I haven’t been on their case to answer me in kind.
But recently I learned a piece of information that’s enough to keep me going for at least a few more years – there is research to suggest that if a child not only understands, but also speaks a second language fluently until he is ten years old, there is a very high probability that even if the second language is not “enforced” after this point, the child is much more likely to understand and speak it for the rest of his life. If a child stops speaking in the second language before the age of ten, he will likely understand it, but will not be able to speak it.
So I decided not to let my kids off the hook just yet. And now, when Jonas answers me in English, I repeat his words back to him in Lithuanian and ask him to do the same. Sometimes (and of this I’m not proud) I’ll pretend I didn’t hear him until he does.
I am the language police.
Interestingly enough, exerting just a little more effort on my part has made a huge difference in my son’s willingness to speak Lithuanian with me. It’s a hard language, and I don’t blame the poor kid for trying to avoid it. As an informal rule, there are two syllables in a Lithuanian word to every one syllable in its English counterpart. The word for “truck” is “sunkvežimis.” Admittedly, English rolls off the tongue much more easily and is more efficient. But Lithuanian . . . it’s haunting, rhythmic, lilting. You just can’t see that when you’re four.
Earlier this week, Jonas dragged his Richard Scarry’s English-Lithuanian picture book out of the blue and presented it to his sister.
“Vee-ya? Can you weed dis book to me in Li-too-waaay-nee-un?” he asked her.
And so they did.
(Seven more years, and I’m home free!)
Note: I have not forgotten about Part Two of my Study Abroad Saga. It’s coming! Soonish.
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Awwwh. Jonukas yra toks “cute!”
Those cute little feet!!!
I love that your kids are learning Lithuanian. Seven years to go!
That’s cool Rima, keep it up. unfortunatly I think Rasa will be able to understand and that is it.
I can’t help but smile and laugh thinking about Jonas and his eastern european accent.
Friends of mine who speak Lietuviskai but not as fluently as we do, have told me that they wish they had taken it a bit mor seriously when growing up, so keep at it:)
I think that is awesome. And they will definitely thank you for it one day.
Adorable pic!
Kat´s last [type] ..This Is Not What I Planned
This is AMAZING, given that you are not even first generation yourself, right? I can only imagine the mental effort to give this gift to your kids.
Something to inspire you, hopefully. A story: I was visiting a little cousin this weekend, whose parents speak exclusively Russian to her, she is the first generation born here but her Russian is horrible even though they speak it to her all the time. She was Skyping with her uncle in Moscow. In English. And calling him Pete instead of Pyotr. I felt so horrible that she didn’t realize what a gift-a second world!- she had in a second language, and hopefully it inspires you to keep going for just a little longer.
Vicki´s last [type] ..World of pain
Hi Rima, I’m a friend of Lauren’s…I’m so glad she sent me your link. What an adorable story and so true. I used to try to speak French (not my native tongue, to boot) with my first born and she would say NONONONONO and run away. I hope you stick with it…everyone will be thankful on down the road.
nancy´s last [type] ..Honorable Intentions
Rima- I love this article. We are teaching our son to speak German. I was inspired by you and now Wolf only speaks German with Maximilian. Your article really hits home and reminds me how important it is that we stick with it!
Have I mentioned to you how much I admire your bilingual parenting? The kids will thank you one day.
Kelly´s last [type] ..Ive Got a Lot of Ballsin the air
I love this post. You should keep it up – you’ll regret it even if they don’t. How sweet is it that he asked her to read it to him in Lithuanian?
I am also waiting (taps foot impatiently) on part two of the abroad/Springsteen post.
This is our story at home too… It is hard sometimes, but boy we are happy then we go to Lithuanian and my daughter can speak to her grandmma!
I vote for keeping up with the Lithuanian. You’ve already started so don’t stop. Though I was born here, my first language was Lithuanian and graduated from Lietuviska mokykla. I can still understand and speak it if needed, whereas my brother and sister understand but can’t really speak. We spoke mostly “U.S.A.”when they were born and they only went to mokykla until about age 9.
I’m conflicted too. My daughter is 8 months (and only half like your kids). I sing her Lithuanian songs and occassionaly say some words/phrases (sustok, valgyk, name parts of her body-ranka, akys, nosis, koja, etc) but because my speaking skills aren’t great I feel at a loss. My Mom speaks to her in Lithuanian sometimes too. I also don’t want to force her to go to Lietuviska mokykla. Though I’m really considering sending her to Angliuku Neringa so she can at least learn about what it is to be Lithuanian. I feel your pain!